What comes to mind when you think about attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)? For many, ADHD is thought about as something that primarily affects children and young people. You might think of a peer from school who struggled to sit still in class or frequently forgot their homework. However, we know that as a neurodevelopmental disorder, ADHD is present from birth and exists lifelong, though many undiagnosed adults with ADHD remain undiagnosed often due to learning coping and compensatory strategies to mask the underlying challenges.
More and more we are understanding the signs and impact of undiagnosed and unmanaged adult ADHD, and how this varies between individuals. So, what are some of the signs to look out for, and when might an assessment or additional supports be recommended?
Challenges with Time Management
One of the hallmarks of ADHD is what’s known as “time blindness.” Do you have difficulty perceiving time in a consistent or accurate way? Do you often miss due dates for bills, leave too little time to get to work in the morning or find that you are always late for that coffee catch up with friends?
Adults with ADHD often struggle with meeting deadlines or may procrastinate on projects due to underestimating how much time is needed to complete tasks.
Adults with ADHD are also interest-driven and can become engrossed in tasks or activities that they find stimulating, rewarding and pleasurable, often finding them difficult to move on from and not realising how much time has passed in the interim.
In some ways, ADHD adults may be so cautious of managing their time that they delay or avoid completing any duties and responsibilities in the hours leading up to an appointment, which can perpetuate procrastination, or may notice in themselves that they are always early.
Whilst frustrating, it’s important to remember that these challenges are not about lack of care or competence – the ADHD brain has a different relationship with time and strategies to support these differences can make a big difference.
Disorganisation/Forgetfulness
For adults with ADHD, maintaining order and staying on top of the multiple demands of daily life can feel like an impossible challenge! You might find that your workspace is constantly cluttered, your calendar is overflowing with overlapping and missed appointments, and your to-do lists are ever growing…
Forgetfulness can be common as well. Missed bin night for the third week in a row? You are not alone! These challenges are not a reflection of laziness, they are related to the way a neurodivergent brain processes and manages information differently.
For those that have developed compensatory strategies to manage their disorganisation, they might be increasingly reliant on lists, reminders and prompts to remember important appointments and responsibilities, and the absence of these strategies might result in increased anxiety or stress.
Impulsivity
Adults with ADHD may find themselves making snap decisions, often left wondering why they didn’t think before they spoke or acted. This could look as big as an impulsive purchasing or changing jobs on a dime but can also manifest as interrupting on conversations or providing (often unsolicited) advice to a friend or family member.
This impulsivity can manifest in both big and small ways. It’s important to remember that impulsivity isn’t about careless, recklessness or irresponsibility – it’s an inherent part of ADHD that’s related to the brain’s executive functioning.
Recognising this as part of the neurodiverse experience allows for more effective strategies to be put in place, like creating routines that support better decision-making. This is something that a neuroaffirming psychologist can assist you in setting up.
For others, impulsivity may not be apparent to others, though for many Adults with ADHD they might describe it being effortful to inhibit urges to interrupt others or with managing impulses. There might also be increasing irritability and impatience that can be difficult to manage or that impacts the quality of relationships with others.
Hyperfocus
Found yourself down another rabbit hole of interest? Can’t stop researching, talking or thinking about a new hobby, item or topic?
Adults with ADHD are often able to hyperfocus on tasks that they find engaging or stimulating. While this can lead to amazing productivity in some areas, it can also lead to the flipside where other important tasks, relationships, or self-care activities fall to the bottom of the barrel.
When well-balanced and harnessed, hyperfocus can lead to great success in areas of interest! However, managing its less helpful aspects can ensure a supportive balance.
Difficulty in Relationships
Adults with ADHD might find that they feel misunderstood by family, friends, partners or colleagues. The challenges associated with unmanaged ADHD can interfere with interpersonal relationships. They may be perceived as forgetful, distracted, or inattentive, leading to those around them to feel frustrated or resentful in the relationship. And this can be equally as frustrating for the ADHD adult who is often very aware of the impact of these challenges on them and the people around them.
Whilst challenges may lead to communication breakdown at times, they are not a reflection of lack of care, love or interest in relationships. Understanding how ADHD may impact you and your relationships is the first step to opening supportive, open and empathetic communication with those around you.
Restlessness and Difficulty Relaxing
Constantly feeling restless or “on edge”? This is a common experience for adults with ADHD. This could look like physical restless, such as fidgeting or challenges sitting still, or ‘mental’ restlessness, such as having a constant stream of flurried thoughts. This is a sign that the ADHD adults’ brain is processing, seeking stimulation and making sense of everything going on around them.
With support, strategies can be developed to encourage self-care and mindfulness to give that brain some much-needed rest. These strategies might look different to neurotypical people, where certain levels of stimulation may have a more calming effect or can help with sustaining attention on tasks. Support from a psychologist can help adults with ADHD identify and trial strategies that individually work for them.
Emotional Dysregulation
Adults with ADHD often experience intense emotions that can fluctuate quickly. You might feel elated one moment and overwhelmed or frustrated the next. These shifts can be hard to manage for an adult with ADHD, often leading to impulsive reactions or feeling misunderstood by others.
Emotional dysregulation is a central aspect of ADHD, and these emotional shifts are a common and challenging experience of a neurodivergent brain. Some ADHD adults may have developed quick but unhealthy coping behaviours, like substances or alcohol, to manage emotions due to combined impulsivity and discomfort with experiencing intense emotions. Other more effective strategies, like building emotional awareness and mindfulness, can be helpful tools to learn for coping.
Rejection Sensitivity
Because adult ADHD is so often misunderstood and misrepresented, many ADHD adults end up feeling embarrassed or ashamed of their differences. Criticism can feel biting, and the ADHD adult may respond with defensiveness, or feelings of shame and anxiety.
Sensitivity to criticism or rejection isn’t a sign of weakness! It’s a reflection of the internalised emotional and social challenges that can come with living in a world that doesn’t always accommodate neurodivergent brains.
Creating a supportive environment that encourages positive reinforcement can help build a healthy sense of self. Undiagnosed adult ADHD can really benefit from firstly confirming their ADHD diagnosis to better understand their unique differences and additionally working with a psychologist to implement strategies and accept their identity to shift these feelings of rejection and shame.
Overcompensation
Find yourself checking that email a thousand time before sending? Constantly hyper focussing on the details of your work to try and avoid making mistakes? Some adults with ADHD engage in perfectionistic tendencies to compensate for their challenges with focus or organisation. Perfectionism may stem from an effort to manage self-doubt and anxiety – understanding this can help lead us to seek out more compassionate ways to handle mistakes in day-to-day life.
Where to from here?
Recognising the unique and individual signs of adult ADHD is an important step in acknowledging and embracing a neuroaffirming approach to assessment and supports. Whether you see yourself reflected in the information above or suspect that you may have ADHD, getting the right support, whether through diagnosis, therapy, or self-education, is vital.
Our ORS Psychologists are well versed in the unique ways in which ADHD can show up for all individuals across the lifespan and gender spectrum and are available to support you or someone you know on their journey to self-awareness and acceptance. EatSense by ORS currently has immediate capacity for neuroaffirming ADHD assessments and therapeutic supports at their Erina Clinic. We would love to speak with you about options for next steps by contacting the ORS number on 1800 000 677 or via submitting a referral.
